


Edges and Scrapes

by UntoldMuse



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Forced Pregnancy, Gang Rape, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-08-08 00:40:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16419149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UntoldMuse/pseuds/UntoldMuse
Summary: The Blade of Marmora is running low on members.Kolivan decides to remedy the problem by using Keith to carry Galra babies that can be raised to fight for the Blades.However, there's one small hitch in his plan.Keith has no intention of doing that at all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Edges and scrapes (перевод)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17290433) by [saiwestwood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiwestwood/pseuds/saiwestwood)



> So I can't stress this enough, but this fic will contain lots of unpleasant/triggering themes. The first chapter is sfw, but the next one will depict Keith being bred by Kolivan and other male Galra.  
> All NSFW chapters will be tagged accordingly.  
> Don't read it if you think you will be upset by the contents. Thank you.
> 
> Update! A Russian translation is available here: [Edges and Scrapes Russain Ver.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17290433/chapters/40666124)  
> Special thanks to [saiwestwood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiwestwood/pseuds/saiwestwood)

It was the middle of the night, when Kolivan called a meeting with his top three soldiers of the Blade. He had been unable to sleep, and decided it was a good time to hold a private meeting. Groggily, the Blades entered into the base command center; with weary eyes and loads of questions. Regris entered first, dragging his feet unhappily. He flopped down in a chair near the room’s only door.

  
He rubbed his forehead with one gloved hand, complaining. “What’s this meeting about, Kolivan?”

  
Kolivan turned around, arms crossed. He had dark circles under his eyes, no doubt due to sleep deprivation. He glanced at Regris saying, “Shush, I’ll tell you once everyone is settled down.” Antok came in second, followed by Krolia. “Antok, close the door please.” Ordered Kolivan. Antok obeyed, hitting the door control panel with a hard smack. The three of them, now reluctantly assembled, all waited for Kolivan to explain the sudden meeting.

  
“Alright,” He boomed. “I’ve been thinking, and I believe our first order of business is to address the fast decline in numbers of the Blades of Marmora. ”Kolivan announced.  
Regris let out a sarcastic cough. “Well, the decline is because they all keep dying.” Krolia fought the urge to laugh while wiping her tired eyes with the back of her hand. She wondered why she’d even left her bed and Yorak for this.

  
Antok interjected with a solution. “So, we need to recruit new members?”  
However, Kolivan didn’t approve. He shook his head vehemently, answering “No, we are not doing that. Not if it puts our secrecy at risk.” Three pairs of eyes all glared at Kolivan in confusion.

  
The Blades needed more members.

  
They can’t have more members if they don’t recruit anyone.

  
The math didn’t add up.

  
Krolia reclined back in her chair, stretching her legs. Gesturing to Kolivan she said, “Then what do you suggest we do?”  
“I propose it’s time we start breeding our own soldiers- training them from the ground up.” He candidly replied.  
Regris almost couldn’t believe his tired ears. He sat up, suddenly interested in the conversation. “W-what?” He sputtered. “You mean we just start fucking and having babies?” That time Krolia didn’t hold back her snickering. She was too damn tired for this…

  
“A curt way to put it, but yes.” Answered Kolivan.  
Antok cocked his head. “You’re insane,” he said. “Who would we even get to start this project?” Kolivan put his hand to his chin, contemplating for a long time. Krolia suddenly felt a knot in her stomach. She was one of the few female Blades of Marmora, and unfortunately, still able to bear children.

But surely Kolivan wouldn’t pick her…  
The dobashes went by, making her tenser, until Kolivan finally spoke again. His face had an expression Krolia couldn’t quite read, but she didn’t like it.

“…What about Keith?” Said Kolivan. “He’s young, sturdy-“  
Krolia’s fear suddenly turned from herself to her son. She screamed “Hell fucking no!” at the top of her lungs.  
“Krolia, settle down.” Kolivan ordered, putting his hand out.  
But Krolia refused. She rose out of her chair, squaring up with Kolivan. He was a good head taller than her, but she didn’t care. Krolia balled her fists, ready to punch him in the jaw.

  
“ _Settle down?_ You’re talking about using my son-breeding¬ him-without even asking him first.” She retorted.  
Kolivan was unmoved. “And?” He uttered sarcastically.  
“And?! You expect me not to be upset by that?!” Krolia took a stance, ready to fight.

  
Antok could already see the situation spiraling out of control. He stepped in, trying to diffuse Krolia’s anger. He stepped beside her, resting his massive hand on her shoulder.  
He spoke calmly, trying to reassure her. “It’s only speculation Krolia.” Antok glanced at Kolivan, silently pleading for affirmation. “Right, Kolivan?” He pressed.  
Kolivan didn’t pick up on the hint Antok was giving him and kept right on speaking. “It’s the only choice we have Krolia. We just don’t have many members able to bear children…He’ll have to do.”

  
Krolia lunged, but Antok grabbed her by the arm before she could take a swing at Kolivan’s head. “You have gone insane!” She yelled, thrashing against Antok. “You can’t just spring this on him without asking first!”

  
Kolivan scowled, waving at Antok to let her go. Hesitantly, Antok did as he was bid. Kolivan strode over to Krolia, towering over her, threateningly close. His words were sharper and harder than any luxite dagger when he said, “Do you want to join him?”  
Regris, who had somehow fallen asleep during all this, suddenly woke with a jerk. He saw Krolia recoil from Kolivan’s glare.  
“Are-are you threatening me?” She said with a disgusted whisper.  
“Perhaps.” He replied.

  
Regris sprang from his chair, getting in between them. He spread out his hands, pushing them apart from each other. “Okay you two, settle down.” He soothed. Antok took a step back, not wanting to be caught in the crosshairs when Regris’s idea backfired. Krolia kicked him in the shin, making him fall to the floor unceremoniously.  
“I won’t stand for this!” Krolia exclaimed. “At least talk to him about it first, explain-“

  
Kolivan didn’t let her finish her sentence. “That will be your job. You’ve had a child before-you can help him through the process.”  
Krolia hung her head. “I don’t…I…”  
She rubbed her temples with both hands. The whole idea made her sick.  
It didn’t matter that she and Keith had only been together for a short time…she had always been his mom, and she always loved him. Krolia couldn’t stand the thought of Keith getting hurt.

  
Kolivan waited for a moment, letting her process. But his next declaration only made circumstances worse. He turned away from Krolia, walking towards the nearby window. “This is how it’s going to be, Krolia. You can either assist him, or you can sit on the sidelines…Your choice.”

  
Krolia closed her eyes, hating Kolivan. Hating his idea and her current position. Neither Antok or Regris (who was now up off the floor) dared say a word. Krolia wished they would. She hated them too, for letting Kolivan do as he pleased.

  
Krolia seethed with rage, but finally she made her choice.  
She reluctantly agreed to the plan, reasoning that it’d be better for Keith if she did help him. She stared at Kolivan, fire behind her indigo eyes.  
“I’ll do it….But for the record, I think this is a horrible idea.”

 

It took a bit of persuasion for Antok and Regris to agree to the plan after seeing Krolia’s reaction. Antok was secretly ashamed for going along with Kolivan, not that he’d ever admit it out loud. After the impromptu meeting, the four blades all went to bed for some rest.  
But Krolia couldn’t go back to sleep. She laid in her bunk, underneath Yorak’s bed, tossing and turning. She sighed heavily and flopped onto her left side, facing the wall of the alcove where their beds were nestled. She must’ve jostled the bed above, because Keith stirred for just a moment.

  
“Krolia?” He muttered in the dark.

  
“It’s alright, go back to sleep.” She instructed him in a motherly tone. Keith didn’t make any more noises, and in a minute or two, she heard him snoring once more.  
For the next few hours Krolia laid there, guilty for what was to come. Worst of all, was her role in Kolivan’s scheme. How could she claim to love her son, yet allow something so bad to happen to him at the same time? She hadn’t felt these things since she left him and Tex back on Earth all those years ago.

Mercifully, the alarm went off during the middle of Krolia’s restlessness. Keith woke to the sound, yawning loudly. Krolia smacked the alarm, unable to bear it ringing for long. Keith climbed out of bed and slid down the short ladder to the floor.

  
“Morning,” He said, letting out another yawn. Krolia smiled at him, taking in his childish appearance. His long hair was sticking up in four places, his pants bunched up at the ankles and shirt crooked.

  
Krolia rose as well, needing to get ready for the day.

  
Ready to help carry out Kolivan’s plan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the actual NSFW takes place, so be cautious.   
> Also at the end is Krolia taking care of Keith.
> 
> Unbeta'd, we write badly like men.

When not working on missions for the Blades of Marmora, members stayed at the base, waiting for new assignments or a lead on a previous assignment. Krolia and Keith had been waiting for such a lead on their last mission together for a few Vargas. Keith went to spar with other members, trying to perfect his skills. He had a lot to learn from his fellow Galra, and he was a good student.

Krolia decided to challenge him to a one-on-one fight. Kolivan had forbidden the three blades at their secret meeting from telling anyone about the plan. But here in the fight, Krolia had a pretense to warn Keith about what was going to happen.

* * *

 

Krolia entered the training room, watching her son take on four different Blades simultaneously. She was impressed by the way he dodged and reversed their attacks. All his movements were fluid, but powerful…Like a river surging between the banks. Two of the Blades went behind him, trying a sneak-attack. Keith tilted back, delivering a  roundhouse kick to the closest member’s chest. Krolia nodded in approval. 

Her mind wandered for a bit, pondering if Keith would try to fight when Kolivan-

_“No._ Krolia screamed at herself. She shook her head, trying to stop that train of thought.

            Finally, Keith managed to knock two other Blades to the ground. Krolia stepped into the middle of the ring, crossing her hands in the sign for a time out. Keith whipped around, knife still at the ready. His face and posture softened when he saw her approaching.

            The one Blade still standing decided to take a swing at Keith while his back was turned. Without even looking, Keith grabbed their arm, pulling forward to get them off balance. The Blade tumbled forward, landing on their face. Krolia patted Keith on the shoulder.

            “I was watching you fight, and I’m impressed.” She said. Keith beamed. In the short time he’d known Krolia, he’d grown to highly appreciate her praise. While he wasn’t ready to call or think of her as mom, he could at least accept she was someone who cared about him. “I want to fight, just you and me. One-on-one.” Krolia announced.

            Keith wiped the sweat off his brow with one hand, regripping his knife in the other. “Alright, hope you’re prepared.” He said with a cocky grin. Krolia was amazed how much her and this boy were alike. She reached for her own knife, settling into a ready stance.

            “On the count of three.” She said. “One, two…THREE!” Krolia shouted, lunging for her son. Keith ducked, thrusting up with his knife. But his move failed. Krolia was able to grab his wrist, pinching it hard. Keith shrieked, trying to free himself. Krolia plucked the knife from his hand, reaching to point it at his forehead. “What are you gonna do now?” She asked. Keith huffed, angry at being beaten so fast.

            His eyes flashed for a second, then he charged forward-going under the blade. Keith head-butted Krolia in the stomach, forcing her to let go of his wrist. Once he was free, he kicked her in the shin, throwing her off balance even more.

            Krolia let herself fall, landing on her back. But before Keith could get his knife back, she sprung up, wielding both blades. Keith put up his fists, dodging and weaving like a mad man. Krolia didn’t actually plan to hurt him, but she had to be tough regardless.

            “Keith,” She said swinging.

            “Yeah?” Keith ducked.

            “I have to tell you something.” Another swing.

            “Now’s not really the best time.” Another thrust. Keith finally rammed into her, taking his knife back. With one final maneuver, the pair ended up with their knives under each other’s chins.

            Krolia and Keith shared a momentary glance, realizing neither of them wanted to back down. But Krolia ceded first. Keith followed suit, stashing his knife in its sheath.

            After they caught their breath, Krolia patted Keith on the shoulder and said, “That was a good fight.”

            Keith nodded in agreement. “So, what was it you wanted to tell me?”

            Krolia sighed, suddenly feeling that same guilt from earlier.  She began to head for the door, with Keith walking in stride beside her. “Kolivan called me in for a meeting late last night,” Krolia replied at last. “While you were still asleep.”

            Keith scratched his chin. “Yeah thought I heard you get up.” He commented.

            “Yes, and well-we had a discussion…about something that pertains to _you._ ”

            Keith stopped in his tracks, staring at Krolia with a quizzical, yet excited expression. “So, are you finally going to send me on a solo mission?” He said, trying not to sound _too_ eager.

Krolia shook her head no

            But god how she wished that were the case.

            “No Keith, but it’s something equally as important …At least in Kolivan’s mind.”

            “Okay, then what?” Keith pressed.

            At that moment, the training room door opened- and in thundered Kolivan, Antok and Regris.

            “Kolivan!” Krolia exclaimed, her nerves suddenly alight. She knew what was coming next, and she hadn’t yet finished telling Keith.

            “It’s time we get to it, Krolia. You’ve had ample time to explain everything.” Kolivan commanded.

            “Explain what?” Questioned Keith.

            “Antok,” Kolivan barked, ignoring the half-Galra. He walked towards Keith, his whole posture radiating intimidation. It was enough to spook Keith into pulling his knife.

            “No!” Krolia yelled, grabbing his arm. “Put it away, you’ll only make things worse.” Keith stared at her in bewilderment, but only for a second. Suddenly, Antok bent down and scooped Keith up off the floor where he stood. Keith was tossed onto Antok’s shoulder-kicking and flailing like mad.

            “What the fuck Kolivan?! What’s going on?” He shouted. For a split second, Krolia was paralyzed. Just like she’d been that night the Galra almost killed Tex…

            “Are you coming, Krolia?” Antok said, turning to her. He still held onto Keith with an iron grip, and all his squirming proved to be fruitless. Krolia slowly nodded, unable to speak around the lump in her throat. She followed Kolivan and the others to a nearby elevator. He hit a button and it started to speed them to the living quarters.

            At this point, Keith had given up trying to escape Antok. Instead he riddled Kolivan with frenzied questions and swears. Krolia tri ed to tune out the sounds, but it didn’t work. Every cry from Keith reverberated in her head.

            God why did she agree to this.

            The elevator stopped at last and opened with a low whine.  “Come on, is no one going to answer me?” Keith complained. “Antok? Regris? Krolia?” He pestered. “Is this some kind of Galra ritual?”

Kolivan ignored him, leading the unhappy band of Galra down a series of corridors to his own room. Finally, they were in Kolivan’s room. It was simple, as all the rooms were. He had a large bed, a small chest to keep belongings in and an old tapestry along one wall.

 Antok carried Keith into the room, and gracelessly dumped him onto Kolivan’s bed. Keith landed with a surprised squeal. He covered his head, barely missing impact against the wall. Kolivan put a code into the pad by the door, locking it from the inside and outside. Only he knew the code, so no one would be getting out.

For a moment or two, a palpable tension hung in the air. Keith pushed himself up onto his elbows, eyeing Kolivan and the others fearfully. “W-what’s going on?” Keith stammered. He began to shake, stealing frightened glances at Krolia.

“The Blades of Marmora are running low on members.” Antok spoke. He and Regris stood on either side of the bed, with Kolivan and Krolia at the foot.

“We need your help, Keith.” Regris cut in. “To… _make_ more Blades for our organization.”

Keith retched, scooting away from everyone. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

At long last, Krolia found the wherewithal to speak again. She crawled on to the bed, sitting a foot or two away from her son. Her Yorak.

“Keith,” She began, taking a long pause to collect her thoughts, “You’re one of the few Blades, besides me, that’s able to bear children…You’re going to be a mother to a few Galra babies. Babies who can grow up in our way of life-who will fight for our cause.”

Keith’s expression turned from fear to complete disgust in 0.5 seconds. He cast a glance at Kolivan, who still stood with his arms crossed. “B-but I’m a guy! I can’t do that! I can’t-“

“You can.” Kolivan interrupted. “Galra genes pass from father to son and mother to daughter. Since you only have one Galra parent, all the genes you inherited from her make you female in nature.”

Keith drew his knees up to his chest, refusing to look any of his fellow Blades in the eye. “Well what if I don’t want to be some fucking incubator or whatever the hell you have planned?!” He retorted.

“Keith, you don’t have a choice.” Antok said, softly putting his hand on Keith’s shoulder.

“Fucking fight me.” Keith spat.

Kolivan rolled his eyes, “You don’t get a say in this. You’re the newest and the youngest, and in the best shape to have healthy offspring.”

“I don’t want to do it!” Keith yelled. Kolivan grabbed Krolia by the arm, pulling her off the bed. She stumbled backwards a tad, gazing at Keith.

“Let’s get started. We don’t have forever.” Kolivan announced.

In an instant, Antok was on top of Keith, grabbing him tight with both hands. Keith bucked and screamed, clawing at any part of Antok’s flesh he could reach. Antok grabbed both Keith’s arms, pinning them above his head. Keith kicked his legs, almost managing to kick Kolivan in the groin, but the blow didn’t connect.

Antok changed his grip, still holding Keith’s wrists with one hand, and grabbing him by the leg. “Stop fighting Keith,” He warned. Antok pushed his pelvis in between Keith’s legs, spreading them wide.

“Fucking stop! Stop!” Keith raged. But no one listened. Antok ran his massive hand down Keith’s stomach, tearing the stretchy material covering it. His fingers grazed Keith’s skin, leaving scratches in their wake.

Next, he tore the lower part of Keith’s suit, exposing his ass. Keith tried to close his legs, but to no avail; Antok wouldn’t let go of him. “Get his feet,” Kolivan ordered. Regris moved to the foot of the bed, braving Keith’s flailing to pull off his boots. Antok palmed the torn fabric and passed it off to Regris, who wrenched it of Keith’s body entirely.

Now his entire lower body was bare and ready. Krolia watched from the corner, frozen stiff, as Antok prepared to fuck her son.

“Regris, can you hold him? I need both hands for this.” Asked Antok. The smaller Galra nodded, returning to the head of the bed to grab Keith.

His hands clenched tightly to Keith’s wrists, keeping his arms securely pinned to the bed. Keith tried to get away, thrashing his head and biting at Regris. Meanwhile, Antok had part of his suit down at his knees. He stroked his large cock, trying to get hard. Keith took a look at him, the panic rising in his chest.

He started to hyperventilate, going lax in Regris’s grip. Without thinking, Krolia bolted towards the bed. “Move!” She screamed at Regris. She grabbed Keith hands in her own and drug his upper body to rest in her lap.

“Here, shush… _Breathe._ ” Krolia whispered. Keith stopped panicking for a second, soothed by Krolia’s soft voice. “It’s okay Keith. You’re okay,” She lied. Antok grabbed both of  Keith’s legs, pushing them apart painfully.

“STOP! STOP IT! KOLIVAN MAKE HIM STOP!” Keith yelled. Krolia held onto him, petting his forehead with her hand.

“Shush,” She repeated.

“I don’t want this! I don’t want to-“ Antok suddenly clamped a hand over Keith’s mouth, shoving two thick fingers inside. Keith nearly chocked on the sudden intrusion, sputtering and shaking. Antok wriggled his fingers inside for a moment, before he pulled them out again.

Keith’s muffled screaming now returned, in full-force. “STOP! KOLIVAN PLEASE!” Antok bent Keith’s backside over, making his knees nearly touch his head. Then he shoved his fingers, still wet from Keith’s saliva, into the boy’s ass. Keith wailed, arching off the bed. Krolia held fast, keeping him from squirming too much.

Antok scissored his hole for a minute or two, stretching him out. Kolivan grew impatient while he watched, tapping his foot on the steel floor. “Hurry up Antok,” He groweled. Antok shot him a glare, then refocused on Keith. But when he did, he had to stop completely.

Keith was laying in Krolia’s lap, eyes covered with one hand, and tears streaking down his cheeks. He hadn’t even been penetrated yet, but his body was wrecked…Imprints of bruises from Antok’s overwhelming hands and cuts from his torn suit. He suddenly couldn’t find it in him to continue.

Even rock-hard and leaking pre-cum, Antok couldn’t.

His lust wasn’t worth this.

More Blades weren’t worth this.

“Kolivan,” He said moving off the bed. “I don’t think I feel comfortable doing this anymore.”

 Regris laughed from across the room. “Come on, don’t be a coward. Just fuck him and get it over with. The sooner the better. Krolia can’t hold him forever.”

Krolia hissed at Regris, flashing her sharp canines. She soothed Keith best as she could, continuing to softly pet on him.

Kolivan uncrossed his arms, squaring up with Antok. “If you don’t want to do it, then step aside, and I will.” He ordered. Antok sighed, stepping away grant Kolivan access to the bed. The Marmora leader undressed in a matter of seconds and grabbed hold of Keith’s legs.

He gave his cock a few strokes to get hard, then without any warning, he thrust inside Keith.

Keith screamed.

And cried.

His chest spasmed, convulsing in panic and pain. Keith clawed at Krolia, ripping into her arms without mercy. It was bound to leave scars, but still she held him. It was the only thing she could do. And Krolia realized, as a soft trickle of blood oozed down her right arm, she’d never forget how these scars came to be.

Kolivan pounded into Keith, pushing deeper with every thrust. His cock split Keith open like he’d never experienced before.

And it hurt.

Gods did it hurt.

Keith wanted to pass out. And he almost did. Kolivan parted his legs too wide, making an audible snap. He had inadvertently pulled Keith’s leg out of socket. Still, he continued fucking him, not slowing down at all.

Keith closed his eyes and bit his lip.

Bit his lip so hard it started to bleed.

            But Kolivan was far from finished. He turned Keith this way and that, driving deeper into his body. Keith’s stomach distended from the monstrous cock. All the while he hyperventilated and cried.

            Kolivan finished.

            Regris came and fucked him. They both did it twice.

            They filled him up with cum and tore apart the last vestiges of hope and dignity Keith had left. And Krolia? She aided them. She kept him still…Compliant. She gave him nothing but hollow sympathy and placating words.

It was done. With all their brutal rape, there was no way Keith wouldn’t be pregnant.

            Keith’s ass leaked, a mixture of Galra cum pouring out of him.

            Keith hated them.

            All of them.

            Krolia, Kolivan, Antok and Regris alike.

* * *

            After all was said and done, and Kolivan fully assured that Keith would indeed get pregnant, Krolia carried her shattered son back to their shared room. He hung limply in her arms, clinging to the back of her neck with one hand. Krolia locked the door and put Keith on the bottom bunk. Krolia was brave warrior, not even death scared her. But suddenly, she found herself afraid of every little move she made.

            Every touch on Keith’s body made her lungs seize. But she had to clean him up. Krolia found some old rags and soap, squirting a generous amount on one rag. “Keith,” She said softly. “I’m going to clean you up okay? Get rid of all that sweat and…other substances.” Keith didn’t reply. His eyes were closed, head lolled over to one side. He looked asleep, and if Krolia didn’t know what’d just happened, she would assume he _was_ sleeping.

            But that wasn’t the case, and they both knew it.

            Sighing, Krolia ran the rag across his chest. Rubbing slow circles to wash away the blood. Keith jerked away from her touch, curling up into a ball. “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!” He shouted.

            Krolia recoiled, stepping away immediately. “Keith, I’m not going to hurt you okay? Just let me do this. Let me help you.”

            Keith lashed back, “Like you fucking helped me a few minutes ago, when Kolivan-“ His angry tone crumbled into a sob before he could finish the sentence. Krolia stood there, transfixed on Keith.

            On what had happened to him.

            What she _allowed_ to happen to him.

            Keith cried…Horribly, _grotesquely._ His shoulders shook from pain and grief. Krolia pulled herself out of her stupor, and crawled next to the bed. She reached out and gently grabbed Keith’s arm. “Please. Let me get you clean, then I swear I’ll leave you alone for as long as you want.”

            Keith didn’t resist this time. Rolling over onto his back, he let Krolia finished wiping down his torso. Krolia hesitated to touch any lower than his waist, afraid of hurting him further. “Why don’t you take this,” She said, pressing a freshly soaped rag into Keith’s hand, “And wash yourself wherever you can.”

            Keith grunted, tossing the rag on the floor. He stared at Krolia, eyes empty. “What’s the point? I’m so dirty…I’ll never get clean.” Krolia picked up the rag, handing it back to him.

            “You will. Just do it. I’ll give you some privacy.”

            Krolia stepped into the far corner of the room, occupying herself with a book. She heard a faint sound of movement from the bed, the pad of feet on the steel floor. Keith stood near the bed, grasping the top bunk for support. He slowly lowered the rag and started washing himself. It was painstaking work, and he couldn’t stand to touch one spot for very long. Keith ached from head to toe, and the more he scrubbed the dirtier he felt.

            Krolia stole a glance over her shoulder, just checking in. She noticed Keith’s body shaking like a leaf in the wind. She wanted to walk over and hold him up, but she decided not to. His dignity-what was left of it-was more important.

            “Krolia?” He said softly. His voice cracked, like when you speak for the first time in the morning.

            “Yes?” She responded, still focused on the book.

            “I think I’m done.” Keith stated. Krolia closed the book and put it back in the drawer. She returned to Keith’s side, easing him back on to the bed. “I’m going to put some ointment on your bruises. It’ll help them heal faster.” She said. Keith nodded appreciatively. He even turned to the side to give her easier access to his black-and-blue skin.

            Krolia pulled out a pot of special ointment she used for her own cuts and scrapes and unscrewed the lid. The cream resembled human lotion, but it was a slightly effervescent blue color.  Krolia dipped her fingers into it and gave Keith a warning “It might sting a little,” before applying it to his back.

            Gingerly she daubed the ointment on. Keith leaned forward and fisted the bed sheets in his hands. Krolia didn’t say anything, just kept on silently applying the cream. A couple of minutes later, she finished. Staring at Keith for a second or two, Krolia asked “Do you want me to put this anywhere else?” Keith shook his head vehemently.

            “I’m good. I’m fine…I just wanna sleep.” He insisted.

            Krolia couldn’t very well deny him that. She got up and put the ointment away. “Do you want the top bunk or the bottom?” She said.

            Keith hesitated for a moment, then said “I’m going up top. I don’t want anybody fucking dragging me out of bed.” His voice was sharp. Bitter. Krolia watched him climb the ladder and lay on the bed. He pulled the covers up to his neck and faced the wall.

After a few minutes, Krolia assumed he had fallen asleep. She stood next to the bedroom door, knife at the ready.

_“What’s done is done. I can’t change that. But so help me if Kolivan comes through the door…”_ Krolia didn’t have to finish the thought.

She’d betray the Blades.

She would kill Kolivan.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No NSFW today lads. Just angst. Enjoy?

It was dark when Keith awoke. The lights were off, except for a single lamp on the table beside the beds. Keith shook the covers off and sat up, rubbing his forehead. His body still ached, the bruises turning darker all over. Keith crawled down the ladder, trying not to wake Krolia.

To his surprise, she wasn’t there. Keith shrugged, and went to the dresser where they had extra clothes. He slipped into a new suit and boots, wincing at the way the fabric drug across his cuts. Then Keith went to the door. Taped to it, was a note.

The handwriting was messy, like it’d been written in a hurry.

_“Keith, I’m going out. There’s more ointment in the beside table if you need. I locked the door, so no one will get in. Take care.”_ Keith pulled the note off and tossed it aside. He noticed Krolia’s dagger laid on the table beside the lamp. Keith took it with him, just in case.

* * *

 

            Stepping out into the hall, Keith looked around for any sign of Krolia. No dice. Keith’s stomach churned, and his heart rate sped up. He didn’t like being alone anymore…

Keith debated leaving, scared that Kolivan might lurk around any corner. Suddenly, he heard footsteps approaching. Keith pulled the knife, crouching with his hands firmly wrapped around the hilt. The footsteps drew closer, and finally Keith could see who it was.

Antok came around the corner, a giant mass of a man, holding something in his left arm. Unthinking, Keith launched himself at Antok with a desolate howl.

“AAAAAHHHHH!” He screamed wildly. Antok dropped what was in his arms to stave off Keith’s attack.

“KEITH! KEITH STOP!” Antok shouted.

Keith wrapped his legs around Antok’s torso, it hurt like hell, but he didn’t care. Keith stabbed Antok in the arm, before the larger Galra could rip his knife away from him. “Keith! Keith, listen! I’m not here to hurt you, I swear!”

“DON’T FUCKING LIE TO ME!”  He yelled.

Antok threw the knife out of reach and grabbed Keith with his uninjured arm. Keith’s grip on Antok slipped, and he fell to the floor in a heap. Antok sighed and grabbed his arm to stop the bleeding. “Look what you did, Keith.” He said nodding towards his arm.

“You expect me to care?! I don’t!” Keith retorted. Antok stooped down, looming close to Keith. All of a sudden, the angry half-Galra boy snapped.

Keith curled into a ball, knees drawn up to his chest and head bowed. “Leave me alone! Fuck off! I don’t need you or anyone else to fuck me anymore okay?!” Antok didn’t say a word. “Please! Just please leave me alone!” Keith started hyperventilating and clawing at his own face in panic.

“Keith don’t!” Antok fussed. He grabbed Keith’s hands in his own, pulling them away.

“Please, don’t- _please…”_ Keith began to break down, just like he had earlier.

At that moment, Krolia came around the corner. She looked exhausted, and a few other feelings she couldn’t possibly name. But as soon as she saw Keith and Antok outside in the hall, she found a new strength and ran over to them.

“What are you doing?!” She screeched.

“Keeping your son from tearing into his own flesh?!” Antok replied.

Krolia whipped her head towards Keith, who was hunched over. “Keith?” She muttered- kneeling down beside him. Krolia grabbed Keith’s hands from Antok, trying to make him calm down.

            But he wouldn’t be consoled. Keith kept mumbling the same words over and over in a frenzy. _“Please let me go…please…”_ Krolia sighed, releasing his wrists against her better judgement. Keith relaxed a little, looking at Krolia with grateful eyes. Krolia stood up again and took Keith’s arm. She pulled him up along with her, while Antok got up and retrieved the knife from earlier.

            “Here you go,” Antok said, handing it over to Krolia. “Keith jumped me with this in hand.” He explained. Krolia nodded and put the knife in its sheath on her belt. Only then did she notice the wounds all over Antok’s arm.

            “Holy shit, Keith did that to you?” She asked. Antok nodded. Krolia didn’t know whether to be impressed by her child’s fighting skills or concerned for her fellow Blade. Right now, she was more inclined to sympathize with Keith.  Still, it’d be rude to at least offer to help. “I’ll help you get it cleaned up if you want…” Krolia stated. Antok shook his head.

            “I’ll do it myself,  I don’t feel like getting attacked again…and I’ll be staying away from Keith from now on.” He replied. Krolia shrugged, watching him slunk down the hallway once more. Krolia ushered Keith back into their room, livid.

            As soon as she shut the door, she tore into him. “What the hell do you think you were doing, attacking Antok like a beast?”

            Keith drew back, staring up at her incredulously. He hated being so short compared to his Galra brethren, but it couldn’t be helped, given he was only half-Galra. The others called him a “halfling” behind his back. He hated that.

            Krolia loomed over him by a few inches, and Keith felt like crawling into a small ball to escape her glare. “I know you’re coping with what happened yesterday” she continued, “But that doesn’t give you the right to _stab people._ ”

            Keith rolled his eyes, scoffing in response. “Whatever…” He turned away from Krolia, casually rubbing his arm. “I can’t help that he scared the absolute shit out of me.”

Krolia sighed, her exhaustion heavy in her voice. “You have every right to be wary around Kolivan and Antok right now. But I still stand by what I said.”

“Okay I get it. No more stabbing.” Keith conceded. He decided to ignore Krolia and crawled up the ladder to his bunk, sitting cross-legged. After a little while spent in sullen silence, he asked “Where did you go anyway?”

Krolia really didn’t wish to answer that question. “I went to speak to  Kolivan…To make sure he-“ Krolia trailed off. So much had happened over the last two days…She could barely keep it all straight in her head. “To make sure he stays away until we know for sure you’re pregnant.”

“Wh-what are you talking about? What do you mean?” Keith stammered, sounding confused. Krolia stared at him for a second, puzzled. Did he…did he not understand? Or was he…

He was in shock.

Of course.

Krolia reached out and wrapped both arms around her son. Keith squirmed, pushing her away. He lashed out, spiting fury “Can people just stop fucking touching me right now?!” He shook, trembling from head to toe. Krolia backed away slowly with tears prickling in her eyes. But she wouldn’t cry. She didn’t deserve to cry.

She told herself it was just because he was in pain.

Just in pain. That’s all.

Keith spun around, back turned to his mother. “I feel sick…like I’m gonna vomit.” He said.

“Go to the bathroom then…if you can make it.” Krolia suggested. She moved out of the way, giving Keith access to the door.

Keith shot her a look, “You’re just gonna stand there?”

Krolia frowned. “Are you wanting something of me?” She was genuinely confused. Maybe she’s where Keith got his awkward social tendencies from.

Keith groaned and said “Nevermind. I’ll be back.”

* * *

 

Down the hall a few feet, was the shared bathroom in their section of the barracks. All blade members used it, as they had learned to be comfortable naked together. At one point, Keith was comfortable in there too.

But now…

Keith shook his head, entering the bathroom. Thankfully it was empty. Only dirty towels and clothes strewn about the floor. Keith took to the nearest shower, locking himself inside. He was too scared to remove his suit, and just turned the water on. Fully clothed, he let the hot stream pour on his head and down his face. The warmth made him feel better. Made him feel _clean._

God, he wanted to be clean.

Keith could still feel traces of Kolivan’s spunk inside him. It was gross…No, sickening.

A new wave of nausea hit him, and Keith sank to his knees. Grabbing the ends of his hair, he pulled it out of the way just in time. His stomach convulsed, Keith dry heaved for a second, then puked all over the shower floor. He didn’t stop, hunched over and gripping the wall for support. Keith cried, whimpering as his stomach emptied all its contents.  The shower washed most of it down the drain, leaving the clear tile floor.

Finally, his stomach settled. Keith hugged himself, still bent over. He couldn’t find the strength to get up yet. The hot steam clouded his vision, but he could hear a door open and shut. Someone had entered the bathroom.

“Keith?” Krolia’s voice rang out. “Are you in here?” She asked.

“Y-yeah.” Keith croaked.

“I…I came to check on you.” She said softly. Keith could barely hear her over the sound of the water pouring down. He slowly pulled himself up, using the wall as a brace. “I wasn’t thinking,” She said, “I won’t touch you again.”

Keith pushed a button on the wall in front of him, turning off the water completely. He sighed heavily, trying to think of a response. “I don’t want you touching me. Or _anyone_ for that matter.”

Krolia hung her head. “That’s fair.”

Keith pressed his forehead against the cool wall, closing his eyes. He was reluctant to leave the relative safety of the shower…and even more so to talk to Krolia.

But she wouldn’t let him have any peace.

“Keith, I need you to do one thing for me, so I can prove to Kolivan the plan worked.”

“What plan?” He questioned.

Krolia sighed. Clenching her fists, she neared the shower stall he was in. She rested one hand against the tinted glass and said, “You have to remember…Kolivan wants you to have babies for the order…so they can be raised to fight for our cause.”

Suddenly Keith’s eyes snapped open. He turned to the door, squinting as stray water droplets flew into his face. “Y-you mean…I’m…He…?” He couldn’t form a coherent sentence any longer.

“Yes Keith. And you probably already are…but I need to know for sure.”

Keith bit his lip, it was still sore from how hard he’d bitten it earlier.

He could still taste the blood.

Sighing, he opened the door and stepped out. Krolia moved, glaring at him quizzically. She didn’t say anything though. If he wanted to bathe fully-clothed, then he very well could. Keith grabbed a towel, draping it over his head.

“Okay fine, what do you need me to do?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I'll learn how to properly format stories in here....but today is not that day.

Krolia and Keith sat together on a long bench in the bathroom after Keith dried himself. Krolia produced a small empty vial from her pocket and handed it to Keith. “Galra women determine whether or not they are pregnant by their spit. I figure it will be the same for you.” She explained. Frowning, Keith unscrewed the cap.

“How the hell does spit tell you anything?” He asked.

  
Krolia rolled her eyes. “You take the spit and test it. It’s a complicated process…Just give me a sample.” Her tone shifted to one of frustration. Keith spat in the vial, then sealed it up. “Here. Don’t tell me the results.” He said, passing the vial back to Krolia. He stood up off the bench, running a hand through his hair. It was matted and tangled, and if he concentrated too hard, he could still smell the residue. Keith longed to leap back into the shower and scour himself from head to toe…wanted to get rid of every trace of the slime he felt encased in.

  
Krolia stood up as well, pocketing the vial. “I’ll run the tests tonight.” She informed him.

  
“How long has it been?” Keith interrupted. He rubbed his forehead, staring at the floor. “How many days since…”

“Two, roughly. It’s hard to tell when you’re in a place with no sun.” Krolia replied. “And Keith…once I get the results, you’ll have to know. For your own health.”

  
Keith scoffed and rolled his eyes. “My own health? Yeah okay…” He thought. “Anyway, I’m going to get something to eat now.” Keith headed for the door, throwing his towel on the floor next to a heap of other towels. He didn’t bother to wait for Krolia.

  
Keith hadn’t felt hungry for past 48-or-so vargas, as he focused on recovery getting clean again. But now his stomach rumbled loudly, and Keith knew he needed to eat. He stopped in his room for a minute, to change out of his wet suit and put on a new one. He sighed defeatedly, realizing this was his last clean one.

  
After that, Keith headed to the elevator in the barracks. It would take him straight up to the base’s mess hall, so he could get some food. As the elevator ascended, Keith pulled the hood of his suit over his head, to shroud his face. He didn’t want anyone staring at him or the bruises on his face.

  
The elevator doors screeched open and Keith stepped out in a dimly lit hallway. He didn’t know why, but an instinct borne of working as a spy took over him. He walked slowly, staying close to the left wall. Looking out for any sign of Antok, Regris or Kolivan…

  
Finally, he reached the mess hall, crowded with other fellow blades and those few members who cooked the food. It was standard alien fare, no better or worse than the “food goo” back on the Castle of Lions. Keith bowed his head, slipping quietly through the other bigger and louder Galra. He went to the back of the line to get food and sighed.

Phase one, complete.  
But he didn’t stay there for long.

  
Across the room, Keith heard a loud, commanding voice. It rumbled like thunder and he immediately recognized it.

  
Kolivan.

  
Keith stood there, paralyzed by fear. He closed his eyes, but all he could see was Kolivan.

  
Kolivan on top of him.  
Kolivan between his legs.  
Kolivan clawing his face.  
Just, Kolivan.

  
And as if he’d lost control of his own body, Keith dove out of line and sprinted towards the door. The air knocked the hood off his head. He didn’t care.  
A few of the Blades turned to stare at the small half-Galra running like a madman. Luckily no one cared enough to comment on his behavior. Keith kept going, but not paying a bit of attention to where he was running.

  
He crashed head-on into a large Galra. They were probably two or three times his size. Keith looked up sheepishly, prepared to apologize. But to his horror, he’d crashed into none other than Kolivan himself.

  
Kolivan stared down at Keith, his expression completely unreadable. He clamped a hand on Keith’s shoulder, making him whimper in pain. “How are you feeling? Has your mother determined whether or not you’re pregnant yet?” He asked. Keith shook, unable to answer.

  
He prayed to whatever outer-space gods existed that someone would come.  
Someone would get Kolivan away….  
Someone…

  
Kolivan grew irritated with Keith’s silence. His grip tightened, voice becoming more brusque. “I said, has Krolia determined if you’re pregnant or not?”  
“I- I don’t know…She was gonna test it tonight…I don’t know!” Keith wailed. Kolivan let go of him suddenly, and Keith wrapped his arms around himself. “Please let me go, I have stuff to do…” Keith pleaded.

  
Kolivan frowned and jeered at Keith, “Oh really? Do you? Or are you just trying to get away from me?”

  
Keith wanted to scream, just as loudly as possible. He wanted to get away.  
He had to get away.  
So, he screamed.

  
Kolivan shot him a look of confusion that quickly morphed into hate. Keith screamed at the top of his lungs, drawing attention from the whole room.

A tall blade member, who Keith didn’t recognize, rose from his table and strode over towards Kolivan and Keith. “What are you doing to the little one?” He asked.

  
Kolivan hissed, trying to assert his dominance as leader. “I wasn’t doing anything. He started panicking for no reason.”

  
The tall Galra didn’t buy it. He grabbed Keith gently by the arm and said, “Little one, stop screaming, you’re only upsetting yourself.” Keith listened and took several measured breaths- trying to calm down. “That’s better. Why don’t you come sit with me and my team?” He offered. Keith shook his head.

  
“I-I should…I should go back to my bunk…Thanks anyway.” He stammered. The tall Galra nodded understandingly.  
Keith ran to the door and dashed out of the room before Kolivan could say anything.

  
But his fellow blade did say something. To Kolivan.  
“Whatever you’ve done to that little halfling, I don’t like it.”

  
Kolivan scowled and replied, “Well good thing it isn’t any of your business.”

  
Keith retreated back to his and Krolia’s room. Still hungry, and now traumatized by the encounter with Kolivan. Krolia was there, sitting on the floor polishing her knives. She paused her work, looking up at Keith. “Are you okay?” She asked. Keith shook his head and crawled up to the top bunk. “What happened?” She pressed.

  
“I ran into Kolivan at the mess hall. Literally. He asked me if you’d done the test to see if I’m…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it…He felt as though those words held a power that Keith would be handing over to Kolivan if he uttered them out loud.

  
Krolia grimaced. “I told him to stay away from you. Should’ve known he wouldn’t listen.”

  
“Yeah I’m sure you were really convincing.” Keith replied sourly.

  
Krolia didn’t like his tone but refrained from commenting. She swiped her rag along the edge of the knife, cleaning it off. Finally satisfied with it, she sheathed the knife and pulled herself off the floor. “Are you hungry? I can get you some food.” She offered to Keith.

  
As if on cue his stomach grumbled. Keith rested his hand there, feeling the hunger pangs. He looked at Krolia, sighing.

“Please…it doesn’t have to be a lot. Just something."

Krolia nodded, leaving their room without another word.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What better way to celebrate Christmas than a new angsty chapter!
> 
> Enjoy??
> 
> And merry chrylser my dudes~

Keith felt a lump in his throat when the Castle of Lions came into view. He and Krolia had been flying for a few vargas now, growing weary of the same continuous black void. Amidst the darkness of space, the Castle shone like a bright beacon of light. Once, Keith had called it home. But now…

Keith closed his eyes and sighed. Now the Castle was something else. A place he could remember fondly but didn’t belong to. Not anymore.

And yet, he was grateful to be within its embrace once again.

It’d been about two months since Keith first became pregnant. His stomach had begun to grow, as a hybrid Human-Galra fetus developed. Yeah, fetus. Keith could not…and would not say the “b” word.

Krolia piloted their stolen ship, while Keith sat beside her in the co-pilot’s seat. He had his hand resting on his stomach. It was an unnerving little habit to Keith. One he couldn’t pinpoint an exact origin date. All he knew was that he did it sometimes without thinking about it.

Krolia called it a protective instinct…That sounded best.

The ship came in range of the Castle, and Krolia sent a signal requesting permission to board. A communication channel opened up, and Keith saw Coran, Allura and Shiro on the bridge.

They seemed surprised to see him, as evidenced by Coran shouting “Keith?!”

Shiro and Allura both perked up when they heard that name. They turned to the monitor, with beaming faces. All of a sudden, Keith wanted to hide. He pulled down the hood of his suit to cover his face

“Keith? Is that you?” Shiro said over the channel.

“Yeah it’s me.” Keith answered quietly.

Allura frowned, stepping closer to the screen. Her face was stern, untrusting. Keith knew that look well.

It was the same look she’d given him when they found out he was half Galra…

Quiznack…if she found out he was pregnant…

“Who is that Galra with you?” Allura questioned, poising her hand on her hip.

Krolia sat up straight, answering for Keith. “My name is Krolia,” She said. “I’m a member of the Blades of Marmora.” Shiro came beside the princess, staring at the monitor.

“Then you have our permission to land, come on in.” He instructed. Krolia closed the channel, then pushed the throttle forward, punting the ship into the hangar.

At last, they were inside, and Keith could feel the energy of the castle surrounding him once more. Light, openness and airiness flooded into his body-where for the last couple of months, only darkness and stale air existed. Keith closed his eyes, exhaling.

Krolia put a hand on Keith’s shoulder, and for the first time, he didn’t wince or snap his head back like a wounded animal.  
“You get to breathe now, Keith.” She said.

It wasn’t permission. It was an order. Keith opened his eyes as the Paladins entered the hangar. They all wore various expressions of excitement at seeing Keith again. Allura headed the line, extending a greeting to Krolia.

“It’s a pleasure to meet another Blade. Please forgive my coldness earlier.” She said genuinely. Keith was surprised she changed her tune so quickly.  
Krolia took her arm, a typical Galra greeting-Keith had learned.

“I think nothing of it. I understand being skeptical of other Galra. I am too.” She replied.

Shiro, ever the diplomat, introduced himself as well. “My name is Shiro.”

Krolia snickered. “I know well who you are. Keith used to never shut up about you.”

Keith glared daggers at his mother. He could feel heat rushing through his body, turning his face bright red. Coming back to Voltron was going to be difficult enough _without_ her teasing. He was embarrassed and furious all in the same heartbeat.

“Anyway,” Keith cut in, “Why don’t you tell them why we’re here?”  
Krolia frowned, not liking his authoritative tone. But nevertheless, she switched the conversation before it could get awkward.

“As Keith was saying, I had to bring him back to you-due to some…personal issues within the Order.”

Shiro furrowed his brows, a face he made a lot when Keith was a cadet. “Did he cause trouble?” He asked.

“No, he-“ Krolia paused, trying to come up with an excuse.

“I got injured…Kolivan thinks it may be permanent without extended use of the healing pods.” Keith lied.

Lance pushed his way through the little crowd in front of them. He stared at Keith, as if appraising some antique, then spouted out “Damn, how the hell are you walking then?”

“It…it’s internal…” Keith said.

Pidge cocked her head, looking sidelong at Shiro.

“Well if he’s hurt, we should let him get healed up.” She stated.

“Yes,” Shiro replied after a second of staring at Keith. Something did seem off about him…he just couldn’t quite place it. “I’ll take Keith to the healing pods.” He announced. “And if you want to stay, you’re more than welcome Krolia.” He offered.

Allura nodded in agreement.

But Krolia had other plans. “I can’t stay unfortunately.” She didn’t disclose any reason for being unable to stay, and no one felt like pressuring her for one.

Keith grabbed her arm before she could depart though, in the gesture he’d learned, and stared at his mother. All of a sudden, Keith (normally feisty and head filled with words to say) fell silent. He stared at Krolia, existentially aware of the fact he may never see her again…

Of course, it wasn’t the first time he’d lost her…  
But now, even after all that happened between them…  
It terrified him.

But he had nothing to say, and neither did Krolia. She gave him a pat on the shoulder, and let her eyes do the talking.  
In ticks the ship sped out of the hangar, leaving Keith all alone. As usual. Well, not quite alone-Keith reminded himself. At least here, among the Paladins and Alteans, he wouldn’t have to be afraid of Kolivan.

* * *

 

Shiro took Keith to the healing pod room, just the two of them-talking and catching up. For Keith it was easy to fall back into place beside Shiro. Considering their long history together…But now, with his secret, Keith couldn’t help but feel like his place had been altered.

Since he’d been gone for so long-the group changed. As things inevitably do. It moved on without Keith. He no longer fit, just like the Blade of Marmora suit that barely fit around his expanding belly.

Shiro opened one of the pods-freshly cleaned by Coran and probably Lance. Keith stepped inside, and the glass raised up. A warm mist enveloped him-the healing pod setting to work. Keith sighed, reveling in the complete weightlessness of it. Keith knew he actually did have some internal issues-leftover from the assault. And in the pod, he felt no pain at all.

_“Gods, I wanna stay like this forever.”_ He thought. Here he felt safe, painless. He didn’t have to look down and see his stomach protruding farther than it used to. He didn’t have to worry about anything…

Well, he didn’t until Shiro tapped on the glass, trying to talk to Keith.  
He suddenly snapped back to reality, frowning harshly. “What is it?” Keith groaned.

“I’m picking up a strange reading on your data scan…” Shiro answered. He had a quizzical look on his face, studying the panel closely. “It’s showing not one-but two heartbeats.”

In less than a second, Keith’s body went cold like he’d been stabbed. The color drained from his face, turning ghostly pale.

But Shiro either didn’t notice or didn’t care. He continued, “Maybe I should ask Allura about this...the system may be off.”

It took all of Keith’s willpower not to scream NO at the top of his lungs. He took a second, collecting his thoughts and trying to calm the whirlwind in his head. He spoke in a measured tone: “There’s no need for that, I’m fine.”  
Shiro was unconvinced.

“Are you sure?” He insisted. “These readings are abnormal.”

“I said I’m fine.” Keith practically hissed. Shiro drew back from the glass like a child at the zoo. He regarded Keith’s standoffish posture and decided to drop the subject.

“If you’re sure…”

  
Shiro stepped away from the pod, exiting the room. Allura greeted him in the hallway. “Is everything alright?” She asked. “What sort of injuries does he have?”

Shiro shook his head. His face was unreadable. “I don’t know to be honest,” he answered. “Though I did see two life forms on Keith’s scan…it’s the weirdest thing…the second one seemed to be coming from inside him.” He elaborated.

Allura puzzled over his words for a second, then she suddenly jerked. Chin jutted out, she had a gleam in her eye. “Why don’t we all gather for the mind meld? That way, we can see what’s going on with him.” She proposed.

Shiro nodded, making a little face of consideration. It was the best way he could fathom of getting Keith to open up. “Let’s do it then.”

* * *

 

The Paladins convened in a haphazard circle, cluttered together, mere inches from each other. Each of them wore the special helmets for the mind meld, bringing forth memories for them to share.

Keith, conversely, was huddled up against the wall, a bit farther away from the rest of the group. Tension radiated from him, hanging in the air…palpable…He was hiding something, and no one could guess what.

Which is why Allura suggested the exercise.

“Alright Paladins,” She announced. “Let’s all close our eyes…open our minds and let everything flow forth…” Everyone followed her instructions, even Keith. For a second, nothing but silence fell. Keith almost thought he would drift off to sleep.

After some time, Allura spoke again. “Lance, what do you see?”

Lance gave a soft grunt, that Keith could only guess the meaning of. Then he said, “I see my mom, and my brothers…and my abuela…” At that moment, an image of the family Lance had just named materialized in front of the group. Lance smiled at a memory of playing tag with his brothers.

Allura continued. “Hunk, what about you?”  
Hunk flushed red, looking embarrassed. “Uh…I see food.” He stammered. “A big lasagna specifically. Is that weird?” Pidge giggled at his simple answer. In turn, a cheezy lasagna appeared for a few seconds. Keith almost salivated over the fake food…He genuinely couldn’t remember the last time he wanted to eat…Not since the pregnancy.

But now he was hungry. Fuck.

“I think that’s pretty normal for you, Hunk.” Lance answered.

“Pidge, what do you see?” Allura asked.

“I see my brother Matt and I. We’re sitting on the couch playing video games.” A vision of Matt and Pidge playing Monsters and Mana on an outdated console flashed in their minds. Pidge beat Matt on level 6, prompting him to pour a bag of chips on her head. She fumed at him for a second, before they both broke down laughing.

Shiro shared his thoughts next. A simple depiction of the Black Lion was all the others saw. Strangely quiet in Shiro’s mind…

Then they came to last Paladin of the bunch. At first, nothing appeared-then suddenly-a few pieces burst out of Keith’s head. Like debris in an asteroid field, they were scattered and nonsensical. Allura opened her eyes, finding Keith hunched over.

His brows were knit in pain, sweat beading on his forehead. “Keith?” Allura called. “It seems like you’re struggling over there…what is it you see?” She inquired.

Keith jerked on the floor, pulling away from everyone. “I-I…you probably don’t want to know.” He answered.

But the others were insistent. “Aww come on Keith,” goaded Lance. “We’re a team. You can share anything.”

_Yeah, but not this._

“I really don’t think-“

“Come on, just show us. It’s okay.” Pidge chimed in.

Keith shook his head vehemently. “I don’t want to…”

Shiro leaned forward, reaching out to touch Keith’s shoulder. Keith bit his lip to fight a scream that threatened to tear out of his throat. He hated being touched.  
But Shiro was patient, staring into Keith’s violet-blue eyes. He looked somber and serious, unlike the others. His voice was soft, but stern when he said “Keith, whatever walls you have up right now, it’s okay to let them down…if only for a little bit.”

Keith scrunched his face. It was harder and harder to contain the bits of memory floating around his head. He didn’t want them to know…He couldn’t let them know.

What would they say?

Would they hate him?

Be disgusted by him?

Shiro squeezed his shoulder hard, bringing him back to reality. “Just let go Keith.”

Gritting his teeth, Keith rubbed his temple with one hand and groaned. “Fine...fuck it. But don’t hate me for what you’re about to see.”

Like a damn bursting from the pressure behind it, so did Keith’s vision surge out into the open. Only it wasn’t a vision of food or family or the lions.

No,

It was a haunting reenactment of the night Keith was raped.

Keith was shouting, screaming, clawing and crying. His body torn apart by Galra three times his size.  
He pleaded for mercy, kicked and fought to escape. But it was no use.  
The vision ended with a single still of Keith, lying in Kolivan’s bed…Blood painting his skin and scratches carved into his flesh.  
His leg hung limp like it’d been pulled out of socket.

After it was over, no one said a word.  
Keith ripped the helmet off his head and buried his face in his hands.  
Lance finally broke the silence, whispering, “…Oh god, Keith…” Keith hazarded a glance between his fingers, looking at the blue paladin.

Tears were welling up in Lance and Pidge’s eyes. “I never would’ve suspected-“ She said brokenheartedly. Pidge shook her head, wiping the tears with the back of her hand.

“I-I…we never knew.” Hunk stammered. He reached out his hand, gently clasping Keith’s hand in his large palm. “I am so sorry Keith…that’s…that’s horrible.” He said.

Shiro hesitated for a second, unsure what to do. But his instinct was to comfort Keith. So he tenderly scooted closer to Keith, wrapping his arm around him in a side hug. “Keith…I agree with Hunk. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” He said at last.

Keith stared at them all incredulously. He felt like crying too but held back. He’d already done that enough the last two months…at this rate he’d have no more tears left to cry.  
“I’m…I don’t know what to say.” He explained. “I was afraid that if you all knew…you would think a lot less of me. Make fun of me even.”

“NO!” Everyone shouted at once.

“We sympathize with you Keith…we are sorry for you.” Allura reassured him.

Keith leaned into Shiro’s shoulder, letting his emotions wash over him. He was beyond relieved at their responses…and shocked as well.

“We understand everything now…” Shiro said. “And we will help you get through this.”

_Not everything._

Keith pulled away from Shiro, casting a wary glance at the other paladins. Everything in his blood told him to get up and run away-after laying his heart bare to the others. He realized, sickeningly, how vulnerable he was. Keith couldn’t take it. He stood up and pulled his jacket tightly around him. The fabric stretched, taut and unforgiving-the seams liable to start coming lose.

“Keith,” said Shiro “There’s more isn’t there?”

Keith made a whimper like a wounded beast. He started to pull on the ends of his hair, wondering how it’d gotten so long. His brain was a like a hurricane-a tempest of emotions and fears. He couldn’t form the words, though they sat on the tip of his tongue.

“I guess there’s no way to say this that’ll make sense…” He began. “But I’m pregnant…and not by choice. Kolivan and some other Galra, they forced me to.”

  
Stunned silence followed. Keith could bear it no longer. He ran out of the room, trying to avid their questions and stares. He ambled through the hallways, just getting as far from the training room as possible.

_Why the fuck did I agree to this?_

_Why, god?_

_Why…_


	6. INTERMISSION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really so much of a chapter as it is a small drabble. I had a bunch of thoughts and feelings I just wanted to get out so there's no  
> real cohesion or plot. Enjoy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and TW for this, blood and reliving rape trauma through dreams.

  _It started with the flash as always…A red stain behind his eyes as he dropped into the nightmare._

_He feels the pressure of something underneath him. Hands holding onto his head._

 

_A woman’s voice…mom’s voice…whispering soothing lies and poison drips into his ear. Something stuffed into his mouth. A gag of cloth ripped from his Blade’s uniform._

_There is a cacophony of noise surrounding him. A scream-his own-as he’s prepared for rape. Anal walls speared open on a clawed hand…_

_He’s bleeding…The red stain grows darker._

_It’s not the same now as it was then…He’s cold._

_Split from too-deep cuts on his pearl skin. Blemishes nothing can get rid of. He’s almost broken._

_Then it comes, the last shred of his body ripped away. The rape begins._

_More screams peal from his throat and vanish in the air like vapor. No one cares. No one cares._

 

_And god it hurts…it hurts…it hurts…._

 

_He’s thrashing now, using every ounce of himself to fight-to flee. Mother’s voice soothes him. Arms wrapped around him- holding him still._

_He tears into her flesh, as his own is flayed. Angry red scrapes across her skin. He’ll never apologize for those._

_But mother hangs on through the brutal first round. But there’s more to come._

_One isn’t enough. He’s violated three more times in succession and each one hurts more than the last._

 

_He thinks for a brief second, of dying right then and there. Biting his tongue off, asphyxiating on spit and tears and cum. Tearing his fingertips into his own neck, instead of mother’s. Ripping to tear out his own jugular, to feel it pump spews of blood on his body._

_But he doesn’t._

_He doesn’t fight. He cries and screams because that is what is expected of him._

_When his hip is pulled out of socket he doesn’t remark. He holds onto his pain-the anger nagging and tearing him._

_He’s never hated anyone as much as he hates them._

_As much as he hates himself._

_And then the final flash comes. He’s staring up into the cold, yellow eyes of the instigator. The one who took his manhood and planted a cursed seed inside him. Keith can feel it still. And he screams one last time. Not from fear or pain. From rage._

_What he did. What he **allowed**_ _them to do in kind._

 

Keith jerks awake with a scream, sweat-soaked from head to toe. He runs a hand over his belly, feeling the babies stir inside. “ _Goddam…”_

He feel nauseated, not from morning sickness but the sickness of his nightmare.

Keith lays back down, head against the pillow.

“ _Just a dream…It was just a dream.”_

 

But the stomach bulge in his vision suggests otherwise.

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so this chapter is a little disjointed and shorter but I really just wanted to get some real story out to you guys.  
> I've been getting back into the writing groove, and chipping away at some major events in the story.  
> The next future chapters may be shorter as well, but thanks for sticking with me!
> 
> Let me know what you think may happen next in the comments~

Shiro discovered Keith sitting in the hangar bay near the Black Lion a few dobashes later. He was leaning against Black’s front left paw, curled on himself in the fetal position.

Shiro hesitated to draw near…giving Keith the space he knew the man needed. But he also wanted desperately to help. So, with an airy step, he made his way to the backside of Black’s paw, where he remained out of Keith’s sight. “Keith,” He called softly.

Keith jerked up like he’d been electrocuted. “Who’s there?!” He growled.

“You know who…I just thought I’d check in on you.” Shiro replied, unbothered.

 Keith sat up, leaning back on his haunches. It was harder to do now that he had more weight pulling him forwards. But he didn’t want to think about that right now. “I don’t want to talk to you…Or anyone for that matter.” He said bluntly, as if that were the final word on the matter.

 Except Shiro wouldn’t be dissuaded. “Keith, I know it must be hard for you. I can’t pretend to know what it feels like, but we’re all here for you… _I’m here for you._ ”

 Unbidden, and completely unexpected, tears began to pool in Keith’s eyes. He wiped them away with one gloved hand. _“No.”_ He whimpered.

 Shiro slid down to the floor, leaning against the opposite side of Black’s paw. “Keith,” Shiro whispered. Uttered his name like if he said it too loudly, Keith might shatter into a million particles of space dust. “I am so sorry for you, and I just want to help you.”

 Keith chuffed, and rested a hand on his stomach. His thoughts were off somewhere no one could reach as he absentmindedly told Shiro, “I only started to notice the bulge about 2 weeks ago…and now…it drives me crazy looking at it.” Keith paused, chewing his bottom lip. “I can’t fucking stand it. Knowing how it got there in the first place.”

 Shiro bristled at Keith’s repeated use of the word ‘it’. Grammatically and logically it made sense. But emotionally, it made his heart ache. That was exactly the kind of language Shiro used when he first got his Galra arm…

‘It’ had taken a long time to get used to. And even now, if he thought about it for too long- Suddenly Keith scooted across the floor, facing Shiro. “I hate it.” He declared. “I hate having this constant reminder of what he did to me.”

 Shiro flexed his hand in front of Keith, unable to keep the smirk off his face. “Buddy, I know the feeling.”

Keith chortled softly at him, then stared at Shiro in silent contemplation for a few seconds. “I guess you do know.”

 Shiro studied his mechanical arm, the metal plates and intricate circuitry…It would never compare to the real thing. Still, this was supposed to be about _Keith’s_ comfort. Shiro looked up, and gently grabbed Keith’s shoulder. “Can…Can I give you a hug? You look like you need one.”

With puppy-dog eyes, Keith said yes, relaxing into Shiro’s embrace. And as if she could read their minds, feel their distress, the Black Lion leaned down; swaddling them both under her powerful jaw.

 

 

* * *

 

_“Dressing for the day shouldn’t be this difficult,”_ Keith thought. With an angry screech he threw his grey t-shirt across the bedroom. After unsuccessfully trying to tug it down over his stomach for the last ten minutes, he began to cry in frustration. There was no way it would fit. None at all.

  
Defeated, Keith flopped onto his bed, wincing at the way his belly jiggled uncomfortably. _“I hate this, I hate everything about this.”_  
But it was nearly time for the Paladins to eat breakfast together and if he failed to show up, Shiro would come knocking. And if Shiro came knocking…Keith sighed. He would assail Keith with annoying and persistent questions. Where have you been? Are you feeling okay? Are you sick? And so on.

  
Reluctantly Keith got up and shrugged into his red jacket, hoping no one would mind seeing his disgusting bulge.  
In the dining hall Keith greeted a group of bleary-eyed, half-awake Paladins, two grumpy Alteans, and the space mice (who were gorging themselves on cheese). He took a chair at the end of the long, steel table…cringing at the loud metallic scraping.

  
Shiro spoke first, in a yawn “Good morning Keith.” Keith gave him a cursory wave, while reaching for the vat of food good Coran had prepared.  
No one said much, other than to ask, “pass me this” or “move your fucking elbow.” Keith appreciated the silence, especially in light of his already stressful morning. But to his dismay, the quiet did not last.  
Lance, the master of being able to whisper just loud enough so everyone could still hear him, leaned over towards Pidge, inquiring about the reason Keith was shirtless.  
“Does it matter?” She hissed. “Eat your food.”

  
But that wasn’t satisfying, so he decided to ask Keith himself. “Hey, why no shirt today bud? Feeling too hot?” He commented.

  
Keith tried to ignore him, his hand migrated over his stomach of its own accord. “It’s none of your business.” He replied with a snarl.

  
Lance slumped forward, eyeing Keith with his trademark mischievous stare. “Oh come on,” He goaded. “Why not?”  
Then suddenly, Keith’s nerves exploded.

  
He jerked up, pounding the table and rattling the silverware. “BECAUSE MY FUCKING SHIRT WOULDN’T FIT ANYMORE!” Keith yelled. Everyone looked at him, obviously startled.

  
“Is that what’s been upsetting you, Keith?” Shiro chimed in.

  
“Yes! My shirt doesn’t fit…and the suit I had from the Blades doesn’t fit either.”

  
“What about your under suit from the Paladin armor?” Pidge suggested.

  
Keith shot her a look, like he hadn’t thought about that possibility yet. “I guess,” He conceded. “But…I can’t wear it all the time.”

  
Hunk scooted away from the table, “Aw man Keith,” he reached for the hem of his shirt, “Trust me I know…It sucks not being able to find clothes your size.”  
With one final tug, he pulled his shirt off completely. Keith’s mouth hung agape for second, shocked by the gesture.

“Hunk what are you-“ He protested.

But the yellow paladin simply tossed his shirt at Keith. “Shhh! Here, take it! Then it’ll go around your…uh, belly.”

  
Pidge pushed up her glasses and fixed Hunk with a quizzical stare. “Hunk…Now what will you wear?” Nobody could answer. The only clothing they had was what they were wearing on their backs when they left Earth so long ago. That and whatever weird costumes Coran procured for them…

  
Allura piped up, already looking exhausted though the day had scarcely begun. “Keith, if it’s clothing you are in need of, Coran and I might be able to help you.” She said.

  
“Really?”

  
“Yes,” She replied. “Come to my quarters when we’re finished eating, we’ll find you something.”

* * *

  
Keith went through a pile of Altean men’s clothing that they had stashed away on the ship. He grimly wondered who it used to belong to…Perhaps Allura’s father. Or Coran.  
Most of the clothes were either too small or too ornate for his tastes. Decorated with silk embroidery or gemstones that were both impractical and (too Keith) just plain ugly.

He sat down in the floor next to a small pile, ready to give up trying to find anything; when spied a grey long sleeve shirt in the pile. He felt it in his hands, observing the material and checking for anything weird.

  
It was soft, like the alien equivalent of cotton. Keith pulled off Hunk’s yellow sweater and slipped it on. Instantly it felt good. Tight, but not around the stomach. He could move…breathe.

  
_“It’s been a while since I could breathe.”_

  
Allura turned around, showing off another fancy top, but stopped when she saw Keith in the old gray shirt. He looked content to keep it. “Have you found one you like?” She asked.

  
Keith nodded. “I like this one. It’s good.” He answered, gesturing to the shirt.

  
Allura smiled, starting to fold up the one in her hand. “I guess we’ll put this back then.” Keith pushed himself off the floor, striding to Allura’s side.  
He stood there, awkward and pensive for a minute or two, until his mouth finally spit out the words he wanted to say. “Thank you…” Allura turned, looking him in the eyes. “I don’t know how you feel about having two Galra on your ship now…but…I…”

  
“Keith,”Allura took his hand in her own, gently pulling him down to sit on the bed beside her. “What the Blade of Marmora did to you is NOT your fault…I accepted your heritage a long time ago, and I could never hate an innocent infant.”

A wave of reassurance washed over him. “Thank you, Allura.” He said with a genuine smile.

Probably the first smile that’d graced his face in months.


End file.
